Unlearning

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Every time I heard relearning and unlearning, it was usually scriptures being discussed.
It's just amazing how no one tells us that for growth in our lives, relearning and unlearning must mark our path.

I have always questioned many things as in my opinion they didn't make any sense. I'd give an example.
A certain research showed that about 70% of households were reliant on the woman's income but when we all go out looking peng who gets the credit for a job well done? I'd let you answer.

The society has us so conditioned that an educated man will act worse than an illiterate. This is what has made it important to constantly ask questions and unlearn. A certain saying I like reads "If you don't like where you are, change positions, you are not a tree". I'd have you know that sometimes that position is in your mind. Who put you there? Society.

Growing up we were conditioned to think a woman who arrived in a room that was dirty and sat without doing anything to the floor is a disgrace to womanhood. They didn't tell us, it is anybody who stays in a dirty room, without fixing it that has a problem. Anybody not any woman.

I arrived a room with a male classmate of mine sometime ago and I said aloud as I dropped my things, "this place is dirty". He left to get a broom. The conditioned me wanted to get the broom from him  because I was the woman and if anyone saw a guy sweeping where I was, it would be a problem. I had to remind myself, I had the option of assisting because I wanted to not because I am girl.
Na woman I be, I no kill person.

He started sweeping and I assisted, moving chairs, tables and stools as he swept. While he was sweeping another guy entered and he said "how guy go dey sweep for where you dey? Na disgrace naw".
Well you'd probably expect to hear that I slapped him for uttering a carefully stringed sentence of incoherent rubbish but I didn't.

I felt sad for him, for every other lady who wouldn't unlearn and break free from conditionings and for our society that created educated illiterates and an equality that transcends generations.

Another is centered around infertility. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to ask.
When you see a couple who have been married for a while without children who do we by default point our fingers to?
I'd let you answer that.

Women are not the custodian of children. They don't wake up one night lay their hands on their wombs and say "Gbe body e". Having children is like playing "I call on", you know that game where  you draw a big circle on the floor and can be in China even if you're in a slum in Ajegunle. Nobody plays that game alone.

The woman isn't always the one with the problem. No, she didn't abort all her potential children. Teach yourself to stop looking at her as the problem. Teach yourself to stop thinking she has probably not drank enough of the local concoction. Many times there is nothing wrong with her except that she needs to be protected from people like you.
Truth is, in this case the major thing to unlearn, is to stop putting your hands in everyone's business. You are not a fly.

We do not learn for the benefit of anyone, we learn to unlearn ignorance.
Michael Bassey Johnson

If we must move we must unlearn.
May we have the courage to break patterns that no longer serve us.


If you don't mind sharing I'd like to know, what have you had to unlearn?

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